When I was a child my mom said she heard some of her friends saying they were looking forward to their kids getting back to school after the summer break. My mom told them she enjoyed spending time with my siblings and me, she would miss us, and she did not want us to go back to school. I’m not sure how old I was when this occurred. My youngest brother is 12 1/2 younger than me and we have a sister and a brother in between us. Maybe it was when Jon and I were older and could actually help out with our younger siblings. Maybe it was when we were all still young. Maybe I was already in high school and she knew I’d be leaving home in a couple of years. I just do not know. The thing is I remember her saying this vividly and it made me feel loved and wanted.
So, we school started back after the Christmas break yesterday, I felt so conflicted. I was glad that they were back in school because it meant I had a bit of a break and some quiet time. We did have a good time over their break. I was off work for a week of the time and we played, watched tv, and just relaxed together. I do miss them when they are not at home.
I want to be like my mother and love every minute that I am with my children. I do love them every minute of the day. It is just that sometimes I love being away from them for a few minutes each day. I know that in a few short years I will be wishing I had this time back with them and that they were not the ones itching to run out the door for time away from me.
When I am truly honest with myself, I realize that what I want more than anything is just a few minutes each day to myself without being interrupted and while I still have energy. At the end of the day, I can take a few minutes but I am depleted and do not feel like doing anything. I also want my children to remember about me what I remember about my mom: that she loved for us to be home and enjoyed time with us. As I am truly honest with myself about these two desires, I think it means I need to make a few sacrifices of my own to have what I want. During their next break, I plan to wake up earlier than them (at least a few days) so that I have those quiet minutes before the day starts. Then the rest of the day I can focus on them and less on wanting time to myself.
What about you? Are you glad when your children are home on break? Are you glad when they go back to school? Do you homeschool? If so, do you ever feel the need for quiet time and how do you achieve it?
7 responses so far ↓
1 Elizabeth // Jan 7, 2009 at 7:19 am
Hi. You were in front of me at SITS today so I thought I’d pop over and say hello.
As to your post, I HATE when my kids go back to school. I cry every time, still. I’m a big ole baby. But, like you I find some time to carve out for myself in each day and I enjoy those alone times.
Elizabeths last blog post..Tuesday Tackled Me
2 Melissa Multitasking Mama // Jan 7, 2009 at 10:42 am
I looove my boys to death and we had a lot of fun when they were on break. But I WAS one of those moms that was ready for the school bus on Monday. They were starting to get stir crazy and the bickering between tweens is enough to make a mama bald!
Melissa Multitasking Mamas last blog post..Wordless Wednesday- She must have been a beautiful baby
3 Kristina // Jan 7, 2009 at 10:50 am
I also have conflicted feelings. For the same reasons you stated. But if I had to pick one, I prefer them to be in school for half a day. Best of both worlds.
Kristinas last blog post..A pig for Christmas
4 Evil Twin's Wife // Jan 7, 2009 at 1:13 pm
I have one in school (5th grade) and one at home (nearly 3), but I do like when school starts up – and I also like having the breaks and down time with my oldest, too. When my son was small, not yet in preschool, but old enough I could trust him to not get into trouble, I would go to my room and shut the door for 15 minutes (usually during a show he really, really loved and would be glued to) and let him know if there was an emergency, he could knock. Otherwise, just let Mommy have 15 minutes. It worked great. Now, for my daughter who is coming up on that age/stage of life, I’m not sure it will work. She’s definitely more demanding than her older brother. LOL.
Evil Twin’s Wifes last blog post..A Discovery
5 K // Jan 8, 2009 at 8:08 am
I definitely need a little quiet time. I get it by waking up early. I get about an hour in the morning and then I get a little break during nap time (but I know that will come to an end when my son is older).
Maybe the most important thing is the message you send your children – you can tell them that you enjoyed your time with them during break and you’ll miss them (all true, even if you are a little glad to get a break- you can leave that part of the story out).
I obviously don’t know your mom, but I’d be willing to bet that she had a lot of the same feeling you have even if she didn’t tell you all the details.
Ks last blog post..Fat Bottomed Girl At the Gym
6 Becky Sue // Jan 8, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Mine are young, but I do get a break with daycare 1 day a week. I NEED that.. sometimes more often than what I get.
Yes I miss time away from them but I know that I need to refocus, work on my needs – take care of me… so that I am better for them! My spirit and attitude needs a refresher course often.. lol
Becky Sues last blog post..Tuesday’s Tribute
7 Michelle // Jan 12, 2009 at 1:32 am
Hey Jen – I found you thru Twitter – and I just realized you’re an ATL mom like me. I can SO relate to this post. My 3 kids are 5, 4 and 2.5. The older they get, the easier it gets…when I still had two in diapers & all were still very dependent on me to serve & clean up after them, it was tough. Now, they are each able to help serve themselves & clean up (to varying degrees), and it is sooo much better. Most of my energy now is spent as a referee
I think it’s good for your children to see you take some time for yourself – 10 to 15 minutes a day, even when they are around. Now that my children are a little older, I tell them when I need “some quiet time to myself”, and that I’ll be back to help them in a few minutes. Then I sit down & read a book, answer e-mails, etc. I think it’s good modeling for them. They learn it’s healthy to unplug & take care of themselves when they’re starting to feel frazzled, then reconnect when they have recharged a bit.
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